ILLUSTRATION- My wife and I have been
together for almost 14 years.
We,
like any couple who has been together for any length of time, have seen our
fair share of up’s and downs.
When
I think back over our relationship, I recall the good times: our wedding, the
birth of our children, our trips together, our first and second ministry
assignments.
But,
as I think back over our relationship, I also remember the hard times.
The middle-of-the-night-arguments that
found one of us sleeping on the couch.
I also think about that time that I asked Beth to get out of the car as
I was driving it.
Through
it all, my wife has stood by my side through thick and thin.
It
has taken effort from me and effort from her to keep our marriage together.
It hasn’t been
one of us giving 70% and the other one giving 30%, its been both of us giving
our all to make our marriage last.
According
to an on-line news article published in September 2011, a survey of divorce
lawyers in the UK, “found that growing apart from one’s partner overcame
cheating as the #1 reason why people ended their marriages.”
“The
lack of emotional chemistry, or ‘falling out of love’ with their partner was
the reason people split 27% of the time, while cheating, which came in at #2,
accounted for 25% of divorces.”(taken from the net, my flies)
Over
one quarter of marriages have ended because couples “drifted apart.” I don’t
know how that statistic resonates with you, but it scares me to death!
It
scares me to think that one in four people will end their marriage because
they’ve drifted apart.
I
don’t want to be in that category. I don’t want you to be in that
category.
So, here’s the main thought from my
message today: Jesus can
Redeem and Restore any Relationship.
My
God is a God who heals and restores. My God is a God who performs miracles.
My God is a God who created love, and
my God is a God who can heal the broken relationship no matter how bad we may
think it is.
Jesus
can redeem and restore any relationship. Not only do I believe this to be true;
I have experienced His restoration in my relationship with my wife.
ILLUSTRATION-We have been through some
pretty intense moments of unfaithfulness, and I stand here today as a married
man, because Jesus has redeemed and restored our relationship.
So,
if you have a Bible, I invite you to turn to the Book of Revelation to see how
Jesus can redeem and restore your relationship.
When
you think about fixing a relationship, your first thought might not be to look
into the book of Revelation, but in the Master’s word to the Church in Ephesus is
a formula for fixing a broken relationship.
In
His address to this church, Jesus starts off by commending the church for
taking a stand:
“I have seen your
hard work and your patient endurance. I know you don’t tolerate evil people.
You have examined the claims of those who say they are apostles but are not.
You have discovered they are liars.
3 You have patiently suffered for me without quitting.” (Rev. 2:2-3, NLYT2)
Jesus commends
the church for taking a stand, but He also mentiones an area of concern.
look at verse 4:“…You have forsaken your first love. 5 Remember
the height from which you have fallen! Repent and do the things you did at
first.” (Rev. 4b-5a, NIV)
Apparently,
the church had allowed their love of God—for God-- to diminish.
He no longer
occupied the number one spot in their lives. They had allowed their
relationship with God to drift.
Jesus
reminded this church that He could redeem and restore the relationship they if
Remembered, Repented and did the things they did when they had first fallen in
love with Him.
If
this was the formula that the Church in Ephesus had to follow in order for God
to occupy top spot in their lives once again;
If
God’s Word has insight for every aspect of our lives;
If
God’s Word “...corrects
us when we are wrong and teaches us to do what is right” (2 Tim.
4:16, NLT2);
Then
we should be able to apply this formula to our earthly relationships and have
Jesus redeem and restore them.
If
we want to avoid becoming one of the 27%; if we want Jesus to Redeem and restore our relationship, we will take Him
at His word and Remember.
ILLUSTRATION- How many of you remember the
first time you laid eyes on your future spouse?
I
do. Beth was sitting in the student lounge of Kingswood University with her
boyfriend at the time.
When I walked in, I sat down beside her, put my arm around her and said:
“I’m going to marry you someday.”
As
you can imagine, her response was immediate. “Drop
dead” she told me.
The
chase was on. I did everything I could to win her heart. But it was to no
avail.
When
I finally stopped chasing her, a strange thing happened. She began chasing me!
Naturally,
I played the “I’m not interested” card, but, ultimately, I surrendered to the power of
love, and well, the rest as they say, is history.
In
order to allow Jesus to redeem and restore your relationship, it would be good
for you to remember why you first fell in love.
It
wasn’t because they drove you insane. (For some of you, it might have been, but
for most of us that wasn’t the case.)
It
was because you felt something deep inside your heart; something unexplainable,
something called love.
To keep from drifting away from
your spouse, remember what it was like when you first fell in love. And remember:
the good things almost always outweigh the bad things.
In
order for Jesus to redeem and restore your relationship you should remember what
it was like when you first fell in love.
But
Jesus also mentions that we need to Repent.
ILLUSTRATION- I don’t know how many times I
have had to do this. I’ve had to eat crow almost every day of my life.
I might have done something wrong, said something wrong, or neglected to
do something that had Beth asked me to do.
Genuine
repentance has saved my marriage. When I’ve done wrong, I’ve admitted it, and
asked my wife to forgive me.
If we’re going
to avoid drifting apart; if we’re going to allow Jesus to redeem and restore
our relationships, we must repent of:
·
The wrong’s we have committed;
·
The comparisons- (you’re cooking isn’t like my
mother’s)
·
The “if only’s” (If only you had done….)
For Jesus to
redeem and restore our relationship we must repent.
One day Peter
came to Jesus and asked Him a question: “Lord, how often should I forgive someone who sins
against me? Seven times?”
22 “No, not seven times,” Jesus replied, “but seventy times
seven!” (Matthew 18:21-22, NLT2)
There is to be
no limit on forgiveness. This doesn’t mean we can take advantage of our spouse,
but it does mean that we can repent when we’ve done wrong and receive the
forgiveness that we truly need.
Some of you need
to go to your spouses and ask them to forgive you. Some of you have been taking
advantage of your spouse’s far too long.
For Jesus to redeem and restore
your relationship you are going to have to remember what you’ve done wrong and
repent of that wrongdoing.
But we must also do the things you did at first.
ILLUSTRATION- When Beth and I finally began
our dating relationship I couldn’t wait to take her out.
I
tried to make the most of our time together. I wanted to be with her as much as
I could. (I still do!) Because I love her, I want to be with her.
If
I want Jesus to redeem and restore my relationship, I’m going to have to take my
wife out on a date.
If
you want Jesus to redeem and restore your relationship try doing the things you
did to win your spouse’s heart. It will take time and effort, but it will be
worth it.
I
realize that there’s a danger in preaching a message like this.
·
Some of your marriages are hanging on by a
thread;
·
Some of your marriages have ended;
·
Some of you don’t have your significant other
anymore.
·
Still others of you are not married.
No
matter what stage of life you may find yourself in today, the Word of God has
an application for you.
If
your marriage is hanging on by a thread, I want to encourage you to take the
words of Jesus and apply them to your marriage.
Remember what it was first like; repent
of things you’ve done wrong, and do whatever
it takes to win your spouse’s heart back.
Nothing should
be off the table. If she likes to go skiing, you should at the very least make
an effort to take her skiing. If he likes to watch Rocky, buy him the 6 part
DVD set.
It will take
work to keep your marriage alive. But know that Jesus stands ready and willing
to redeem and restore your marriage, and His Holy Spirit will give you the
strength to fight for your marriage.
If you are
divorced: you can take these words of Jesus into your next relationship. You
can apply these principles and watch Jesus redeem and restore your broken
heart.
If your
significant other is no longer with you, or if you are not married, can I
encourage you to pray for those of us who are married?
Can I ask you to
take one couple from this church and pray for them by name?
Pray that we
wouldn’t be amongst those who “drift apart”; pray that Jesus would redeem and
restore the relationships of this Church.
If you take
nothing else from this message today, grab hold of this simple truth: Jesus can redeem and restore any
relationship.
He doesn’t want
you to be one of the 27% of couples who have drifted away. You can—He can-- fix
what’s broken.
For some of you,
this fix might mean getting married.
For others this
might mean stop doing that thing that drives your spouse crazy and repent of
your wrong doing;
For others it’s
remembering and doing what you did at first.
For all of us,
it begins by asking Jesus to restore and redeem our relationships.
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