We are in the
last week of our sermon series called Guardrails.
As you know, a guardrail is
a system designed to keep vehicles from straying into off limit danger zones.
A
guardrail has only one purpose. It’s designed to keep you and me safe.
When you see a guardrail, you know to be
on the lookout for a potential hazardous area. Guardrails are designed to keep
you safe.
The
key thought of this series is this: “followers of Jesus are to establish a system to prevent
them from straying into off limit danger zones.”
Followers
of Jesus are to establish guardrails in their lives.
Installing
these guardrails in our lives will keep us from a life-time of pain and regret.
Establishing guardrails will keep us safe.
ILLUSTRATION- A few weeks ago, I was
talking to someone about why I’m not on Facebook.
I thought about giving him my top 10 list as to why I’m not on FB, but
instead, I summed it up with one word: “Guardrails”.
If
I were to join FB I would be coming up against, or in certain cases, smashing
right through a guardrail.
So
by not being on FB, I am actually preventing myself from going down a road that
I really have no business going down.
This
is the same lesson that the Bible teaches.
Our memory verse for this series has
been Proverbs 27:12 and it tells us that: “The prudent see danger and take refuge, but the simple keep
going and suffer for it.” (NIV)
Prudent—wise—people
see danger—Facebook, eating with someone else’s spouse—and they take
precautions to avoid straying into danger zones.
But the
simple—the not wise—people pay no attention to warning signs, and they smash
right through guardrails, and will, eventually, suffer the consequences for
their actions.
If
we’re being completely honest with each other, we all have, at one time or
another, come up against, or blown right past a guardrail that has been set up.
Either
we were caught up in the heat of the moment, or we were blindsided by something
unexpected, we have all blown past a guardrail that has been set up.
I
want you to know that you don’t have to live with the guilt, and the shame and the
pain of running through that guardrail.
You can receive
forgiveness and healing for your actions, but you will also have to install—or
reinforce-- a guardrail to prevent you from straying into an off limit danger
zone.
If
you don’t take anything else from church today, take this with you: Unless we install a guardrail in our life, we will stray
into off limit danger zones.
God
has some pretty clear instructions as to the guardrails that followers of Jesus
are to establish.
Paul
told us in 1 Corinthians 6 to “Flee from—not flirt with—sexual immorality.” (6:18, NIV)
If
you remember the Greek word for immorality is “porneia” and it is a generic term for sexual sin of any kind” (Key word Bible)
Followers
of Jesus are to establish guardrails when it comes to sex, because the Bible
says “flee from, not flirt with, sexual immorality”.
Another
guardrail that most of us need to install relates to stuff.
Jesus reminded us that: “a man's life does
not consist in the abundance of his possessions." (Luke 12:15b,
NIV)
Life is not
measured by how much we have, but by what we do with that we have.
Followers of Jesus need to
establish guardrails when it comes to sex and money, because sex and money are
killing way too many people.
We need to establish boundry markers
when it comes to sex and money so we dont end up going off the cliff.
There
is one more topic that we need to discuss; there is one more guardrail that
followers of Jesus need to install, or reinforce.
We need to
establish guardrails when it comes to marriage.
Believe
it or not, marriage is under attack. It has been reported that 53% of
non-Christian couples have obtained a divorce.
It has also been
reported that 49% of Christian couples have obtained a divorce.
I’m
not a rocket scientist, but I think these numbers are way too high!
How is it possible that divorce is so
prevalent amongst people who call themselves followers of Jesus?
Don’t
ponder that question for too long, because Jesus gives us the answer.
In Mark 3 He said: “If a kingdom is divided against itself, that
kingdom cannot stand.
25 If a house is
divided against itself, that house cannot stand.” (Mark 3:24-25, NIV)
A
marriage will not last if a husband and wife are constantly disagreeing or
arguing with each other.
I
understand that you won’t
always see eye to eye, but you should be able to walk hand in hand.
In
fact, this is the truth that Paul gave us in Eph. 4: “In your anger do not sin" Do not let the
sun go down while you are still angry, 27 and do not give the devil a
foothold.” (Eph. 4:26-27, NIV)
When couples fail work through
any issue that comes their way, and sweep it under the rug, or choose stew
about it instead, they are giving the devil a foothold in their marriage.
ILLUSTRATION- Every once in a while, my
wife and I will come to a blow.
I will have done something that she didn’t like—or vice versa—and
instead of talking about it, we keep it to ourselves, and by not addressing the
issue in a calm way, we are actually giving the devil a foothold in our
marriage.
This
happens when I look for other things that Beth might not be doing, things that
really have no relevance to the issue at hand, but when you give the devil an
inch, he’ll be a ruler.
When
I remember what the Bible has to say, such as “love keeps no record of being wronged.” (1 Cor.
13:5b, NLT2), when
I ask God to help me deal with the issue at hand, and we sit down and talk
about it, we are able to resolve even the most serious issues.
If you can’t talk to your spouse
because of a conflict in your marriage; it is affecting your marriage and you
are straying into an off limit danger zone.
So,
what do you do? How do we prevent our marriages from straying into these off
limit danger zones?
Jesus
told a story about 2 people who built a house. The first person built his house
on a solid foundation, and:
“Though
the rain comes in torrents and the floodwaters rise and the winds beat against
that house, it won’t collapse because it is built on bedrock.”
(Matthew 7:25, NLT2)
The
couples who build their relationship on a solid foundation; those couples who
establish guardrails, will survive even though the storm comes- and the storms
always come.
The
couples who build their marriage on the truth of Jesus Christ; the couples who
decide that no matter what comes their way, they will work it out, will survive
the storms of life.
But
the couples who fail to establish guardrails, when the storm comes—and the storm
always comes—they will suffer the consequences.
“When the rains and floods come and the winds
beat against that house, it will collapse with a mighty crash.” (Matt.7:27, NLT2)
You
see dear friends, “Unless the LORD builds the house, its builders labor in
vain.” (Psalm 127:1a, NIV)
Unless
you are taking your marriage to the throne room of God, when hard times come,
it will not stand the test of time, because “…a family splintered by feuding
will fall apart.” (Mark 3:25, NLT2)
A
marriage that is in constant turmoil is headed for the danger zone.
A
marriage that cannot—or will not—address the issues affecting it is straying
too close to the danger zone.
So
very quickly, I want to give you 3 guardrails that you can establish, and if
you apply them to your marriage, they will help you when you come into a danger
zone.
They
may sound crazy, but guardrails are intended to save your life.
#1. Take divorce off the table.
What do I mean, take divorce off the
table? Take divorce off the table. Don’t bring it up, don’t mention it. Don’t
even joke about it.
Divorce
is serious business and it affects a lot of people, so removing this word from
your vocabulary, might save your marriage.
A
Second Guardrail to establish is this: don’t ask God to change your spouse.
ILLUSTRATION- I
can’t begin tell you how many times I’ve asked God to change my wife; that God
would make her do this, or make her do that.
While God can change my wife, He is
more concerned about changing me.
Instead of asking God to change my wife,
I need to ask God to change my attitude toward my wife.
I
need to ask God to work on my heart first, and then ask Him to work on my wife.
If you are only asking
God to change your spouse, you might run out of breath.
Instead of asking God to change your
spouse, ask God to change you, first.
The
last guardrail to establish and probably the most difficult one, is Love your
spouse unconditionally.
For
love to last, for marriage to stand the test of time, you must love your spouse
unconditionally.
Unconditional
love has no limits, it has no end, it keeps going, even, and especially in the
storms of life.
Coincidentally,
unconditional love is the same love that God has for us, which leads me to believe
that we cannot truly love our spouses without the love of God living inside of
us, because God
is love. (1 John 4:16b, NIV)
So
I wonder today how many marriages could benefit from the instillation of one,
two, or all three of these guardrails.
How many marriages could be
rescued TODAY if followers of Jesus came up with a system to keep them—and
their marriages—from straying into off limit danger zones?
ILLSUTRATION- One of the parts of my job
that I enjoy the most is preforming weddings.
One
of the first things that I do when I conduct pre-marriage counselling sessions is
ask couples one question: “What is the
goal of marriage?”
While some
couples are hesitant to answer this question, and other couples respond with
benefits of marriage, none of them properly answer this question.
According
to God, the goal of marriage is Oneness, two people living as one. Not two
people living as two. Two people living as one.
The
Bible says: “For
this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife,
and they will become one flesh.” (Gen. 2:24, NIV)
If I could put my
finger on the number one reason why marriages fail, its right here, couples
living as two, instead of living as one.
For
marriage to work the way God intended it to work, the relationship between a
husband and wife is to take priority over every other human relationship.
No
other relationship is as important as the relationship between a man and his
wife, and nothing is to come between it, not our parents, not even our
children.
So
if your relationship with your spouse isn’t the top priority in your life, you
are straying into a danger zone.
If
another relationship is more important to you than your relationship with your
spouse, you are coming up against a guardrail and you need to take precautions,
because you are headed for a crash.
Jesus
reminded us that a house divided against itself will not stand, and if your
marriage could use a guardrail or three, I want to encourage you to take some
time this week, to talk to your spouse about the issues that are holding you
hostage.
Not
talking about these issues is leading you down a path that you don’t need to go
down.
Talking
about these issues might hurt, but they will serve as a guardrail to keep you
from becoming just another statistic.
Friends, I want
to let you know that Jesus is here today and He can—and wants to restore your
relationship.
He can take the
weakest marriage and make it thrive, but that can only happen as we come to
Him.
So, as we lead
into our last song, if your marriage needs a touch from God, ask Him.
Don’t leave this
place without giving your heart and your marriage over to God.
Don’t leave this
place without seeking out someone whom you trust and someone you know will pray
for you, because your marriage will not fix itself!
We’re in this
thing together and I want to see the marriages of this church thrive, so if you
need Jesus to resurrect your marriage, you respond as God leads you.
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